Cross Cultural Understanding : Interpersonal Relationship

Interpersonal Relationship: Friendship, Love, Family and Workplace

Background

My background on this chapter due to discuss this chapter is quite interesting and happening in everyday life. This chapter describes the specifics of how we relate in friendship, love and workplace. All four have the difference in interpersonal communication and running in this type of relationship.

"The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one" - Joan Baez

Discussion

1.     Friendship

Friendship is relation that begins from the introduction to be close. The term that describes the behavior of cooperation and mutual support between two or more social entities. Focusing on the typical understanding of interpersonal relationships. Close friendships usually always do the same thing and will meet each other and enjoy the activities they love.

For example: which usually call real name, now since friendship has already become vocations unique name, which is commonly referred to affectionately call. Often go to the place that became their favorite

The characteristics of friendship:

-           Interpersonal Relationship

-          Between Two People

-          Mutually Productive

-          Mutual Positive Regard

-          Closer Friends More interdependent

-          Matter of Choice

Types of Friendship

Humans certainly have the character or the type itself respectively. In friendship also have the types, as follows:

1. Friendship Reciprocity

Characterized by loyalty, mutual love, mutual giving and sacrifice between them balanced. Giving and receiving benefits from the relationship. Example: a friend.

2. Networking Reception

Characterized by a party which has always been a giver and one party again always be penerima.Terjadi because of differences in status. Example: Doctor-patient, teacher-student.

3. Friendship Association

Characterized by ties that renggang.Hubungan only sebatasfriendly relationship and not as true friendship.Contoh: Relationships with friends classroom, office, and neighbors.

Friendship Needs

Unwittingly or not, each of us must be friends with people who are going to meet our basic needs. For example, as the proverb says, if friends with a fragrant Minya seller, at least we could have sprayed the perfume.

As our needs change, the quality of the friendship we seek will also change. Based on these needs, we will usually find someone who can be a friend based on the following points.

§ Utility

Someone who memunyai talent, ability, or anything that could help us in achieving the goals and desires us. Example: Friends with children are good at playing the guitar, our friend will automatically taught to play the guitar.

§ Affirmation

Someone who would affirm (assert) personal values ​​and personal traits we. Example: We will likely be friends with people who appreciate, respect, and see the effort, ability, or even trivial things like humored us.

§ Ego Support

Someone who acts in a supportive, encouraging, and helping kita.Contoh: Build friendships with people who can see that we are valuable and competent.

§ Stimulation

Someone who brings and stimulates us to new things (new ideas), see things from another perspective, and can help us broaden horizons and knowledge. Example: Make friends with people who will introduce us to new people, cultures, issues, and even a new experience.

§ Security

Someone who will not take actions that will hurt us, and will not rehash our shortcomings. Example: Make friends with people that are likely not to be worried that he would betray or discuss negative things about us behind

Friendship And Communication

Friendship awoke in the period and divided into tahapan.Semakin intimate friendship, the more extensive the communication and dalam.Kita will talk about things that ever deeper into the territory of our privacy. Topics to be discussed even more diverse. Stages are:

a. Depth of Communication Increases

b. Breadth of Communication Increases

c. Dynamic Tension Around Revealing Information about Self

d. Friendship regressions May Pull Back

Friendship, Culture and Gender

-          Friendships Closer in collectivist Cultures

-          Women and Men Have Different Types of Friendships

2.     Love

Love is an emotion of strong affection personal against what he felt. Where also includes building and maintaining relationships, sometimes even destroyed through communication.

Love Types

a) Eros - Beauty and Sexuality

b) ludus - Entertainment and Excitement

c) Storge - Peaceful and Slow

d) Pragma - Practical and Traditional

e) Mania - Elation and Depression

f) Agape - Compassionate and Selfless

Love and Communication

-          Normally a person engaged in a love relationship, exaggerating the good of spouses and reduce errors.

-          Sharing emotions, experiences, and secrets.

-          Make a hidden meaning (personal idioms).

-          Mutual opening up. In a relationship, sort out what to say and what not.

-          Non-verbal communication (eye contact, quiescent conditions, keeping more physical, and touch).

Love, Culture, Gender, and Technology

§ CULTURE AND LOVE

Asia Vs Europe. Asian people are much friendlier and collectivist. While Europeans more individualis.Kabanyakan Europeans have the type of love and agape ludus.

§ GENDER AND LOVE

The gender difference is certainly affect the reaction of a man and a woman when they fall cinta.Wanita usually seen more emotional if it falls cinta.Pria and women also have a tendency to choose the type of love. Man: Eros and ludus. Woman: mania, pragma, and storge.

-          In the end a relationship, a myth to say that the cause comes from a man, but a study says that the end of the relationship caused by men only 15% and women 32%. The end of the relationship caused by a third person.

-          Reaction men and women after ending the relationship is different.

§ TECHNOLOGY AND LOVE

Establishing a relationship with technology is that are popular belakangan.Jika through technology, then it can not read the non-verbal messages, more in words.

-          But in relationships through technology, there are positive things. One of them is to avoid physical violence and the spread of venereal disease. In addition, it can be easier to find someone you love, because through technology, can interact with many people.

-          The downside of course can be felt. We can not see straight people. Only through photos, videos, but if we can find out whether the photos posted it was really him.

3.     FAMILY

When you define the term family, you will answer that a family consisting of a husband, wife and children. Then you can add relatives that include the term: in law, brother and sister, grandparent, uncle-aunt, and others. But other types of relationships are family.

The term primary relationship shows the relationship between the two main parties, for example, a husband and wife, the couple domestik.Dan family term indicates a broader constellation, which includes children, relatives, and other significant people.

Characteristics of Family

All primary relationship has some qualities that better characterize the type of relationship, namely:

§ Permanent Role

Couples with primary relationships have clear perception and understanding that each person in a relationship has a role to diperankan. Most of heterosexual couples split the roles traditionally.

Example: Men as breadwinners and women as cooks, giver of offspring, the housekeeper.

This does not apply to couples who are highly educated and have a socioeconomic class tinggi.Terkadang, their role was tertukar.Dalam gay and lesbian couples, the role of the stereotypical male-female is not found.

§ Recognition Of Responsibility

Family members feel that they have certain obligations and responsibilities to the relationship and each other.

Someone who is single does not have the same kind of bond with someone in a primary relationship.

Example: offering comfort when one of the family members feel depressed, or suffering and improve their morale, and take the time for one another.

§ History and Future Together

The primary relationship with a past and prospects for the future together. For a relationship to be a primary, there must be interaction history and the past is significant. This interaction allows members to get to know and understand each other, and even love each other.

§ Dwelling Together

In American culture in general, primer pairs in interpersonal relationships usually live together; if they do not stay together, will normally be considered "abnormal" and temporary. In other cultures, sometimes men and women do not live in the same place; she can live with her children, while men live in communal arranged.

Family Types

§ Traditional Couples

If you are part of the family "traditional", you would tend to agree with the following statement:

"We tell each other how much we love and care about each other."

Traditional couples share a basic belief systems and philosophies of life are the same. They see themselves as a fusion of two people into a single partner rather than as two separate individuals.

§ Independent Couples

If you are someone who is "independent", you would tend to agree with the following statements.

"In a marriage or close relationship, there should be no constraints or restrictions on individual freedom."

Independent partner emphasize their individuality. Such a relationship is important, but not more important than the individual identity of each person. They see themselves as androgynous: individuals who combine traditional feminine and masculine roles, and also equality.

§ Couple Separated

If you are "separate" you would tend to agree with the following statement:

"Better hide your true feelings rather than hurt your partner."

Separate couples who live together saw their relationship as terms of convenience rather than feelings of love or connection lead balik.Tiap people see themselves as separate individuals and not as part of "us".

In addition to the three types of pure, there is also kombinasi.Contohnya, the separate-traditional couples, a separate individual and the only other common tradisional.Pola is a traditional-independent, in which a person believes in the traditional view of the relationship and one in autonomy and independence.

Family and Communication

One helpful way to understand the family and the primary relationship is in communication patterns that dominate the relationship.

§ Pattern Equality

In this pattern, everyone split their communications with the transaction balanced; similar roles that they take. Thus, each person is given the same level of credibility, open to each other's ideas, opinions, and other beliefs, and in the decision-making process. This pattern often occurs in same-sex relationships than opposite sex relationships and more true in theory rather than practice.

§ Pattern Balanced Divisions

In this pattern, a relationship of equality is maintained, but each person has authority over different domains.

Example: In the traditional nuclear family, the husband retains high credibility in terms of the business, while his wife maintains high credibility in terms of child care and cooking.

§ Pattern disunity Unbalanced

In this pattern, only one person is dominating. One person is seen as an expert in more than half the area in the field of mutual communication. In one case, a person is usually more intelligent and knowledgeable outside, but in many cases, it is more attractive physically or higher earner.

Example: The controller makes more statements, give opinions freely and use the games power to maintain control. While couples are more controllable propose and seek opinions.

§ Patterns Monopoly

In this pattern, one seen as the authority and control of the relationship and the decision taken. These people rarely seek the advice of others and always has the right to have the final say.

Example: The controller told his partner what is permissible and what is not, and more often a lot of talk. While couples who controlled almost like a child who sees his parents are all-knowing and all-powerful.

Families, Culture, Gender, and Technology

Like friendship and love, the family also varies from one culture to another and perceived differently by men and women, and also influenced by technology.

§ Culture and Gender and Family

In the discussion of the development of relations it is assumed that you are voluntarily choosing a partner relationship. You consciously choose to pursue certain relationships and not others. In some cases, your husband or your wife have to unite two families. Example: an arranged marriage or arranged marriage.

Everyone has the right to terminate an unwanted relationship, but in some cultures, you can not end a relationship after it was formed, or after they have children. Example: In practice the Roman Catholic religion, married couples are not allowed to divorce.

In the US, both men and women can initiate a connection and could decide as well. In Iran, only men have the right to divorce his wife without giving a reason.

Gay and lesbian families accepted in some cultures, and rejected elsewhere. Same-sex marriage is allowed in Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, South Africa, Canada and some States in the US. In Norway, Sweden and Denmark, same-sex couples have the same rights as married couples.

§ Technology and Family

Technology has changed the communication between family members. Mobile phones allow parents and children to remain in close contact in case of emergency or just to chat.

On the other hand, the Internet and technology have led to the distances among members of the family.

In the case of adopted children, find their original parent becomes easy because a lot of access to all sorts of data.

4.     Workplace Relationships

Relationships in the workplace is a context in which almost all types of relationships can be built. Forms of communication as well as the types of relationship that is built on it was not separated from the culture that is in the place itself, such as customs, norms, values, and regulations that apply.

Becomes a very important to be considered if we are entering a workplace or organization to know and understand the prevailing culture. This is very useful in order to maintain our performance and even improve our performance. Based on the cultures that exist in a workplace / organization, there are some relationships that could happen.

Romantic Relationship

In some workplaces / organization no written or unwritten rule that prohibits employees have a special relationship with each other. For example, in a military organization, which could even be sacked if it turned out to be involved in a special relationship with one of its members. It was banned because it was considered not benefiting and will hinder the company / organization.

            However, in a different culture, romantic relationship and it may be possible to happen. Viewed from the other side, workplace / organization is the perfect place to find the ideal partner. Because of course, will meet with people in the same field, has the same interest, ambition, and could spend time together because it was in the same place.

In addition, the relationships in the workplace can lead to something positive both for themselves and the company. We certainly will tend to be more enthusiastic in working, diligent to come to work, and spent a lot of time at work because there are people that we love.

On the other hand, the presence of couples in love can be a threat or something that is destuktif for the company. Especially when the couple inseparable and should be kept together on every occasion. In certain cases such as the division of work teams, or relocation / transfer of employees to be very difficult for both of them.

When the relationship ended badly, it would also have a negative impact, both for ourselves, other workers, and perusahaan.Akan becomes very difficult to work well with a former lover whose relationship ended badly.

Mentoring Relationship

In this connection, someone experienced to help others who have not achieved adequate. This type of relationship to facilitate the novice to ask and learn things or new abilities.

Relationship Networking

Networking relationship itself can be defined as the process of seeking information from others to help us in solving the problem or how to deal with a problem, such as how to edit photos, write financial reports, and look for cheap place to eat.

Networking is divided into two types, namely informal and informal formal.Networking is a problem that we encounter in everyday life. For example, where is the toilet, ask how to edit photos, looking for a place to eat cheap and tasty.

Formal Networking has the same concept, only the problem or question that we can not solve it we must ask the people in a system. For example, from HR, to the manager, and others. We can establish networking with people who are already familiar, acquaintance of the people we know, and even from people we do not know at all.

By building a good networking, of course, we will be rich with information from people who are trustworthy. In addition, it also helps us, because it would be very difficult to access and search for information on their own without the help of others.